1400 pounds of Happy

Yup I am happy NOW I am happy but let me be honest I wasn't happy a couple hours ago. I came into CrossFit Costa Mesa at 6pm ready to do 11.5 Games WOD ... What is it you ask well it is 5 100# power cleans, 10 toes to bar, 15 wall balls AMRAP in 20 mins. THIS IS HARD! I came into this workout with a max power clean of 105 that I had just achieved two weeks prior. So I was nervous without a doubt. My dear friend Erica was my judge and I had a crew of supporters watching, which I wasn't sure how I felt about that, among them were Linds, Carrie, Chad, Chris W., Jenelle and Ben. Well the time started and I got the first two cleans off up and then I felt my back I heard my small voice inside me begin the self-doubt. The I can't do this it is to heavy but instead of listening to them. I heard Erica telling me to rest and then get back at the bar, Chris telling me to move those elbows, Ben saying 10 more seconds of rest and then pick it up, Linds telling me how awesome I am Chad telling me I was in a groove ... those were the voices I heard so I picked up the bar three more times completed my first round.

I had a goal in mind I wanted three rounds I am not looking to make it to regionals I am looking to give it my all. So I went into the second round and I pushed and pushed and pushed and got through those five cleans and completed my second round. It was in the third round that I felt like I was going to cry I had so many things running through my mind. I was scared I wouldn't be able to do it I was scared this was it.. I came to the bar and picked it up and got the power clean but for some reason I felt the tears I knew I wasn't going to get my goal of three rounds so I gave it my all ... up to the last seconds and I got three more cleans.

When Erica said time ... I walked straight outside and started to cry I was really upset embarrassed about my performance. I thought I let my gym down my friends down I let myself down. I composed myself Ben said many kind words to me and I walked back into the gym only to let myself cry again infront of everyone. I just remember Chad who I think is amazing saying "Why are you crying? You did amazing!" I was embraced by the gym.

So I came home still upset still angry and talked to Hillary who was so proud of me and spoke to Ron who was super proud as well. He told me I was doing about 95.5% of my max. I sat and thought about what I had done I started to realize one this is about me no one else and two I did awesome. I got that bar up 14 times my max is 105 I did it I never gave up I truly laid it on the line. Then I just kept thinking more and more I did it. I could never have done that a year ago but today I faced that bar with everything I got. I may not be the number one CrossFitter but I am Katie Sandoval in my own right I am lil firebreather coming into my own, learning about myself everyday and developing into a strong women.

So yup I power cleaned 1400 pounds today and I am not ashamed about it I AM SO HAPPY! I have some of the most amazing supporters in my life and I so blessed. So yup I am 1400 pounds of happy!