Inner Beast

I am not going to lie I have been in a really funky mood since the start of the New Year. I thought New Year meant fresh start but instead it has brought back feelings from over a year ago to the surface and to top it off I started the New Year sick! Well unlike a year ago I probably would have been sulking and miserable instead I decided to rededicate myself to the things I love aka CrossFit and some things I haven't touched for a very long time, God.

I dragged myself on Tuesday to the gym in hopes that somehow I could shake the feelings of sorrow and chaos from inside and I put my mind into the WOD and just gave it my all. I really did I literally finished the first round and while waiting that 1 min I cried on the floor because I semi-felt like the world was crashing on all sides of me and because I was out of CrossFit for a couple days but I heard Linds say 10 secs I shook it off and said this is not the person I am and I looked inside, dug deep and held on to that dead hand for those 45 seconds and yup I felt like a champ then moved to burpees and just dropped to the floor, if I want anything to kill me its not my past its the damn WOD. So I completed the WOD and felt good still weird but good. So I came back today and man I still wasn't feeling good and then to top it off I saw the WOD had OHS and I literally was like "Shit, this is going to make my day worse" BUT then I realized I was going back to my old self the one with zero confidence so I decided to shut that off and dig deep AGAIN ... And low and behold my "Inner Beast" came out and I did the WOD and felt so great. So yes this funk I am in is starting to go away....

Now to my second thing I want to rededicate myself to GOD. I am not going to lie I have been away from Church and God for a long time. It was forced on me as a kid and I didn't think it was for me. But some events in my past have recently opened up my eyes to God and I am ready to go back to Church. I believe in him and his higher power. I now realize that the things that have occurred in my past have shaped who I have become and there is a reason for all of it....

Sooooo yes I am in funk but my inner beast is winning!!! :) So I will just go out and kill it!